The Quotes Thread

[Oldschool]

Thomas J. Watson - “Recently, I was asked if I was going to fire an employee who made a mistake that cost the company $600,000. No, I replied, I just spent $600,000 training him. Why would I want somebody to hire his experience?”

[The Brahama Bull]

If you can find something everyone agrees on, it's wrong.
Mo Udall

[Oldschool]

Steven Willson - “You've got a lot pulling at your time already - which may be the best reason to start cultivating your green thumb.”

[The Brahama Bull]

In times like these, it helps to recall that there have always been times like these.
Paul Harvey

[Oldschool]

“I always wanted to be somebody, but I should have been more specific.”
- Lily Tomlin (1939-)
[born Mary Jean Tomlin] American comedienne.

[The Brahama Bull]

I phoned my dad to tell him I had stopped smoking. He called me a quitter.
Steven Pearl

[kong]

Too bad the only people who know how to run the country are busy driving cabs and cutting hair.
-- George Burns

[Oldschool]

Unknown - “Sitting quietly, doing nothing, Spring comes, and the grass grows by itself.”

[The Brahama Bull]

Everyone rises to their level of incompetence.
Laurence J. Peter

[kong]

"Whenever I watch TV and see those poor starving kids all over the world, I can't help but cry. I mean I'd love to be skinny like that, but not with all those flies
and death and stuff."
--Mariah Carey

[Oldschool]

“A book is a mirror: If an ass peers into it, you can't expect an apostle to look out.”
- Georg Christoph Lichtenberg (1742-1799)
German physicist & satirist, visited England, influenced by the satire of Swift.

[The Brahama Bull]

It is hard enough to remember my opinions, without also remembering my reasons for them!
Friedrich Nietzsche

[kong]

"I've never had major knee surgery on any other part of my body,"
--Winston Bennett,
University of Kentucky basketball forward.

[The Brahama Bull]

The big difference between sex for money and sex for free is that sex for money usually costs a lot less.
--Brendan Behan--

[Oldschool]

Unknown - “Praise does wonders for the sense of hearing.”

[The Brahama Bull]

Going to work for a large company is like getting on a train. Are you going sixty miles an hour or is the train going sixty miles an hour and you're just sitting still?


J. Paul Getty

[Oldschool]

Marilyn Monroe - “Dogs never bite me. Just humans.”

[The Brahama Bull]

I'm thirty years old, but I read at the thirty-four-year-old level.
Dana Carvey

[kong]

"Smoking kills. If you're killed, you've lost a very
important part of your life,"
--Brooke Shields, during an interview to become
Spokesperson for federal anti-smoking campaign.

[The Brahama Bull]

The word 'politics' is derived from the word 'poly', meaning 'many', and the word 'ticks', meaning 'blood sucking parasites'.
Larry Hardiman

[Oldschool]

Mark Twain - “A banker is a fellow who lends you his umbrella when the sun is shining and wants it back the minute it begins to rain.”

[The Brahama Bull]

In Mexico we have a word for sushi: Bait.
Jose Simon

[Oldschool]

“Much may be said on both sides.”
- Joseph Addison (1672-1719)
Spectator. No. 122 - English author, politician, publisher, essayist, poet.

[The Brahama Bull]

A lifetime is more than sufficiently long for people to get what there is of it wrong.
Piet Hein

[kong]

"Traditionally, most of Australia's imports come
from overseas."
--Keppel Enderbery

[The Brahama Bull]

Everybody Dance Now"

Bob Sinclair

[Oldschool]

“There is no medicine to cure hatred.”
- Publilius Syrus (100 BC-?)
Syrian Born - Roman Writer of Aphorisms

[The Brahama Bull]

When love is gone, there's always justice.
And when justice is gone, there's always force.
And when force is gone, there's always Mom.
Hi, Mom!
Laurie Anderson

[Oldschool]

“When your joints all start to ache, rainy weather is at stake.”
- Proverb

[kong]

"Your food stamps will be stopped effective
March 1992 because we received notice that
you passed away. May God bless you. You may
reapply if there is a change in your circumstances."
--Department of Social Services, Greenville, South Carolina

[Oldschool]

“Kindness is a mark of faith: and whoever hath not kindness hath not faith.”

[kong]

When I first open my eyes upon the morning meadows and look out upon the beautiful world, I thank God I am alive.

-Ralph Waldo Emerson

[Oldschool]

“Anyone who isn't confused really doesn't understand the situation.”
- Edward Roscoe Murrow (1908-1965)
American news broadcaster, vp of CBS, was correspondent in London bombing.

[kong]

I can win an argument on any topic, against any opponent. People know this, and steer clear of me at parties. Often, as a sign of their great respect, they don't even invite me.
-- Dave Barry

[Oldschool]

Unknown - “And the blind will lead the blind and all Those too scared to see I am afraid beware the masque And the truth it conceals.”

[kong]

Don't squat with your spurs on.
Will Rodgers

[Sean Hero]

when did socialism replace cunt as "the bad word"? personally I quite like the idea of both...

I believe I said that when some people who don't understand Socialism were telling me about Hitler and Stalin.

[The Brahama Bull]

When you least expect it expect it - Matrix

[Oldschool]

Jimi Hendrix - “When the power of love overcomes the love of power, the world will know peace.”

[The Brahama Bull]

What? - Steve Austin

[Oldschool]

Marilyn Monroe - “I've been on a calendar, but never on Time.”

[The Brahama Bull]

The Rock - It Doesn't matter who you are

[Oldschool]

"Yes...the Rock DOES want to retract his statement. The Big Show is NOT a jabrone....but what the Big Show IS, is a seven foot, five hundred pound, steaming, stinking, steaming, stinking pile of Grade-A monkey crap! And the Rock says this, Big Show, did the Rock call you a jabrone? You damn right he did, he called twenty others a jabrone as well, shut your mouth, and look at the Rock, read the Rock's lips - jabrone - J-A-B-R-O-N-I-X-Y-Z-A-B-C-oh, it doesn't MATTER how you spell 'jabrone!' The Rock says this, Big Show, come Royal Rumble - the Rock's Rumble - the Rock guarand*mntees to take his hand and one, by one, by d*mn one, over the top rope, the Rock guarand*mnteeing winning the Royal Rumble, the Rock, going to WrestleMania, and going out of WrestleMania...the People's Champion." -- The Rock

[The Brahama Bull]

What is is and will be will be - Unkown

[Oldschool]

“A place for everything, and everything in its place.”
- Samuel Smiles (1812-1904)

[The Brahama Bull]

Your Fireddddddddddddddddd - Vince Mcmahon

[Oldschool]

“Interior presence cannot occupy the human soul at the same time that it is occupied by hatred.”
- Ann Fairbairn
Five Smooth Stones - English author, School Library Media Specialist, Nottinghamshire, England.

[The Brahama Bull]

Our constitution protects aliens, drunks and U.S. Senators. (http://www.quotationspage.com/quote/1220.html)
Will Rogers (http://www.quotationspage.com/quotes/Will_Rogers/) (1879 - 1935)

[Oldschool]

“I invite you to sit down in front of your television set when your station goes on the air ... and keep your eyes glued to that set until the station signs off. I can assure you that you will observe a great wasteland.”
- Newton N. Minow
Speech before the Nat’l Assn. of Broadcasters, Washington., DC, May 9, 1961 - chairman of the Federal Communications Commission.

[The Brahama Bull]

Smokin! - The Mask

[Oldschool]

“If you are caught on a golf course during a storm and are afraid of lightning, hold up a 1-iron. Not even God can hit a 1-iron.”
- Lee Trevino
1985, on The Tonight Show.

[The Brahama Bull]

Have you ever danced with the devil in the pale moon light - The Joker

[Oldschool]

“There once was a red-headed gal; A monkey she had for a pal. Strong as an ox, With funny long sox; If you try to find her, you shall!”

[The Brahama Bull]

All the world is a stage and the people actors - Will Shakespear

[Oldschool]

“A pessimist is a person who mourns the future.”

[The Brahama Bull]

Life is like a box of chocolates - Forrest Gump

[Oldschool]

Proverb - “Always put off until tomorrow the things you shouldn't do at all.”

[The Brahama Bull]

Enjoyment is not a goal, it is a feeling that accompanies important ongoing activity.
- Paul Goodman

[Oldschool]

Unknown - “A vision without a task is but a dream, a task without a vision is drudgery, a vision and a task is the hope of the world.”

[The Brahama Bull]

All The Worlds A Stage And The People merely Actors - William Shakespear

[Oldschool]

“During his 1956 presidential campaign, a woman called out to Mr. Stevenson 'Senator, you have the vote of every thinking person!' Stevenson called back 'That's not enough, madam, we need a majority!'”
- Adlai Ewing Stevenson (1900-1965)
Democratic candidate for US president ‘52 & ‘56, Ambassador to UN.

[kong]

Nothing you can't spell will ever work.
-- Will Rogers

[Oldschool]

Proverb - “It's hard to be nostalgic when you can't remember anything.”

[kong]

A Contented Mind
=================

To be satisfied with a little, is the greatest wisdom;
and he that increaseth his riches, increaseth his cares;
but a contented mind is a hidden treasure,
and trouble findeth it not.
~Akhenaton~

[Oldschool]

Proverb - “Fabas indulcet fames — Hunger sweetens the beans”

[kong]

Too bad the only people who know how to run the country are busy driving cabs and cutting hair.
-- George Burns

[Oldschool]

William B.‘Bill’ Watterson II - "Calvin: There's never enough time to do all the nothing you want."

[kong]

A child of five would understand this. Send someone to fetch a child of five.
Groucho Marx

[Oldschool]

“Nobody ever did anything very foolish except from some strong principle.”
- William Lamb (1779-1848)
Viscount Melbourne. Attributed.

[kong]

No,please don't eat me. I have a wife and kids,eat them. - Homer

[Oldschool]

“There once was a red-headed gal; A monkey she had for a pal. Strong as an ox, With funny long sox; If you try to find her, you shall!”

[kong]

Age is not a particularly interesting subject. Anyone can get old. All you have to do is live long enough.
Groucho Marx

[Oldschool]

Mark Twain - “When we remember we are all mad, the mysteries of life disappear and life stands explained.”

[kong]

Most human beings have an almost infinite capacity
for taking things for granted.
~Aldous Huxley~

[Oldschool]

Gary Zukav - “Trust allows you to give. Giving is abundant. Trust allows the experience of bliss. Bliss is awakefulness. Trust allows you to laugh. Laugh at the richness, the beauty and the playfulness of the universe. Apply consciousness to this process and all roads will lead to home.”

[The Brahama Bull]

Enjoyment is not a goal, it is a feeling that accompanies important ongoing activity.

- Paul Goodman

[Oldschool]

“Racism is man's gravest threat to man — the maximum of hatred for a minimum of reason.”
- Abraham Joshua Heschel

[The Brahama Bull]

Mark Twain - “It is curious that physical courage should be so common in the world and moral courage so rare.”

[Oldschool]

“Opinion is a denial of truth. For if each man is entitled to his own opinion then there can be nothing which is false, consequently there can be nothing which is true”
- Andrew Juric

[The Brahama Bull]

If we don't learn from our mistakes we are doomed to repeat them

Don't know who said

[kong]

Oscar (to Felix): "You leave me little notes on my pillow. I told you a hundred-and-sixty-eight times I can't .. stand .. little notes on my pillow! 'We are all out of Corn Flakes. -F.U.' It took me three hours to figure out that 'F.U.' was Felix Ungar!"

[The Brahama Bull]

Everybody has a price - THe Million Dollar Man

[kong]

I was so poor growing up, that if I hadn't been a boy, I'd have
had nothing to play with!

Rodney Dangerfield

[The Brahama Bull]

How yo doing? - Joey form friends

[Oldschool]

“Spread the table and contention will cease.”

[The Brahama Bull]

I'll murderize the both of you - Moe Howard

[Oldschool]

“Every survival kit should include a sense of humor.”

[The Brahama Bull]

hought is the blossom; language the bud; action the fruit behind it.

- Ralph Waldo Emerson

[Oldschool]

“We do not get faith by arguing about religion; we get faith on our knees, in and through surrender, and prayer. God give faith to those who need and want it.”
- Elmer G. Homrighausen

[The Brahama Bull]

Been There Destroried That -Stone Cold Steve Austin

[Oldschool]

“Laughter translates into any language.”

[The Brahama Bull]

An Apple A Day Keeps The Docotor Away - Unknown

[Oldschool]

William B.‘Bill’ Watterson II - “Calvin: Sometimes I think the surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that none of it has tried to contact us.”

[The Brahama Bull]

Such is the inconsistency of real love, that it is always awake to suspicion, however unreasonable; always requiring new assurances from the object of its interest. Ann Radcliffe,

[Oldschool]

“About all you can do in life is be who you are. Some people will love you for you. Most will love you for what you can do for them, and some won't like you at all.”
- Rita Mae Brown (1944- )
American author, poet & playwright, onetime feminist & lesbian activist.

[The Brahama Bull]

I am Canadian - Every candian citizen yesterday after the men won olympic gold

[Oldschool]

“All men are self-made, but only the successful will admit it.”

[The Brahama Bull]

Most men are within a finger's breadth of being mad. (http://www.quotationspage.com/quote/23583.html)
Diogenes the Cynic (http://www.quotationspage.com/quotes/Diogenes_the_Cynic/) (412 BC - 323 BC)

[kong]

[When his director invites him for a game of golf]

"When I want to play with a prick, I'll play with my own."

W.C. Fields

[The Brahama Bull]

Life is like a box of chocolates - Forest Gump

[Oldschool]

“I have never been able to conceive how any rational being could propose happiness to himself from the exercise of power over others.”
- Thomas Jefferson (1743-1826)
American, 3rd President of the U.S. - 1801-1809.

[The Brahama Bull]

Thou Shalt Not Mess With The Amigos - (C-J)

[kong]

Age is not a particularly interesting subject. Anyone can get old. All you have to do is live long enough.
Groucho Marx

[The Brahama Bull]

Eat My Shorts - Bart Simpson

[Oldschool]

Prophet Muhammad - “All actions are judged by the motive prompting them.”

[kong]

The reason why worry kills more people than work
is that more people worry than work.
~Robert Frost (1874-1963)~

[Oldschool]

Strength of character means the ability to overcome resentment against others, to hide hurt feelings, and to forgive quickly

[kong]

beam me up scotty (I can't find my wig and my girdle snapped!)
William Shatner

[Oldschool]

“This high official, all allow, Is grossly overpaid, There wasn’t any Board; and now There isn’t any trade.”
- Sir Alan Patrick Herbert (1890-1971)

[kong]

Nothing is impossible for the man
who doesn't have to do it himself.

~A. H. Weiler~

[Oldschool]

“It is not a lie, it's a terminological inexactitude.”
- Alexander Haig

[kong]

One day as I came home early from work, I saw a guy jogging
naked. I asked him, "Hey buddy, why are you doing that?" He
said, "because you came home early."

Rodney Dangerfield

[Oldschool]

“Learning is like rowing upstream. Advance or lose all.”

[kong]

I could dance with you until the cows come home. On second thought I'd rather dance with the cows until you come home.
Groucho Marx

[Oldschool]

Groucho Marx - “Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.”

[kong]

to do is to be..........Horatio
to be is to do..........Sarte
do be do be do........Sinatra

[Oldschool]

“There is a scarcity of friendship, but not of friends.”
- Thomas Fuller (1608-1661)
English clergyman, antiquarian, wit, historian.

[kong]

Most human beings have an almost infinite capacity
for taking things for granted.
~Aldous Huxley~

[Oldschool]

Mark Twain - “Humor is mankind's greatest blessing.”

[The Brahama Bull]

If your one of these people who just need a little space please go the fuck outside!

Goerga Carlin

[kong]

times fun when you are catching flies
Kermit the frog

[kong]

If You Can't...Do
==================

If you can't fly then run, if you can't run then walk,
if you can't walk then crawl, but whatever you do
you have to keep moving forward.

~Martin Luther King Jr.~

[Oldschool]

"There is no fear in love; but perfect love casteth out fear ... "
1 John 4:18

[kong]

An ounce of emotion is equal to a ton of facts.
~John Junor~

[Oldschool]

The first requisite of success is the ability to apply your physical and mental energies to one problem without growing weary.

- Thomas Alva Edison

[kong]

"Whenever I watch TV and see those poor starving kids all over the world, I can't help but cry. I mean I'd love to be skinny like that, but not with all those flies
and death and stuff."
--Mariah Carey

[Oldschool]

I don't like my hockey sticks touching other sticks, and I don't like them crossing one another, and I kind of have them hidden in the corner. I put baby powder on the ends. I think it's essentially a matter of taking care of what takes care of you.

-Wayne Gretzky

[kong]

"The most important thing a man can know is that,
as he approaches his own door, someone on the other side
is listening for the sound of his footsteps."

Clark Gable

[Oldschool]

The reasonable man adapts himself to the world; the unreasonable one persists in trying to adapt the world to himself. Therefore all progress depends on the unreasonable man.

- George Bernard Shaw

[kong]

The Places You'll Go
"You have brains in your head. You have feet in your shoes. You
can steer yourself any direction you choose. You're on your own.
And you know what you know. And YOU are the one who'll decide
where to go..."
~Dr. Seuss~

[Oldschool]

Our heroes are people and people are flawed. Don't let that taint the thing you love.

Randy K. Milholland, Midnight Macabre, 09-27-07